Medical definitions!

  •  

    Anti-body - - Against everyone
    Artery -- The study of fine paintings
    Bacteria -- The back door of a cafeteria
    Barium -- What you do after CPR fails
    Benign -- What you are after you be eight and before you be ten
    Cardiac arrest -- Taken into custody after stealing a coupe Deville
    CAT Scan -- Searching for the kitty Cardiology
    Advance -- study of poker playing
    Cauterize -- To make eye contact with a woman
    Cesarean section -- A district in Rome Charlie
    Horse -- A 10 to 1 long shot in the Kentucky Derby
    Colic -- A sheep dog
    Coma -- A punctuation mark Congenital - Friendly
    D&C -- Where Washington is
    Dilate -- To live long Enema -- Not a friend
    Fibula -- A small white lie
    G.I. Series -- A baseball game between teams of soldiers
    Genes -- What you wear cutting grass
    Hangnail -- A coat hook
    Impotent - Distinguished, well known
    Labor pain -- Getting hurt at work
    Medical staff -- A doctor s cane
    Morbid -- A higher offer
    Nitrates -- Cheaper than the day rate
    Node -- Movement of head meaning yes
    Organic -- An organ work repairman
    Paralyze -- Two far fetched stories
    Pharmacist -- A person who makes living in agriculture
    Phobopohobia -- Fear of phobias, or fear itself
    Pelvis -- A cousin of Elvis
    Post-operative -- A letter carrier
    Protein -- In favor of young people
    Rectum -- Dang near killed em
    Scalpel -- What you stand on to clean windows in high rise buildings
    Secretion -- Hiding something
    Seizure -- A Roman emperor
    Tablet -- A small table
    Terminal illness -- Getting sick at the airport
    Thalassotherophy -- Fear of the sea Tumor -- An extra pair
    Urine -- The opposite of "you are out
    Vein - Conceited
    Varicose - Nearby
    Xenophobia -- fear of strangers or foreigners
  • Bad times: The woman`s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? You have been...
  • Great memory... 'That is great! And what was the name of the clinic?'
    Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but could not remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, 'What do you call that flower with the long stem and...
  • Ticket please! Three Engineers and three Accountants are going on a business trip by train. At the train station, the 3 accountants are ordering 3 tickets while the engineers are only ordering one ticket. The accountants ask 'Why only one ticket ?', the engineers reply that they have a scheme...
  • Riding blonde ! A blonde Decemberides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs...
  • Watermelons: There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT