Just a little help, Texas Style...

  •  

    In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
    As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
    Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn`t!
    So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
    So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
    About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
    Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don`t even know who you are!"
    At this the Texan drawled "Well ma`am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we must be friends."
  • Wanted a pregnant bride! A lazy angler cast his line but was hardly taking any notice of the float going down. A passerby seeing this could not resist pulling the string, and caught a good fish. 'Thank you,' said the angler, 'would you bait the hook and cast it for...
  • Aunt Bea... Miss Bea was in her 80`s and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring and she welcomed him into her...
  • Conspicous... A Minister, a Priest and a Rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes...
  • Innovative Marital Strategies.. A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun.
    'Open the goddamn safe,' he yells at the girl behind the counter.
    'But we`re not a real bank,' she replies. 'We don`t...
  • Perquisites of a Secretary! A Managing Director was interviewing a charming lady for the post of a Personal Secretary. Finally, he asked the lady what salary she expected?
    Very modestly she replied...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT