Watch your words !

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    Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.
    He says, "How`d you get a cork in your ass?"
    The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp.There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant-um you one wish."
    And I said, "No shit."
  • Dating woes ! This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist 'Listen, I have 3 girls coming over tonight. I never had 3 girls at once, I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent.'
    So the pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small black card-board box marked with an 'X'...
  • Finding a virgin ! An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several nsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
    She ends up corresponding with a man...
  • Baby blonde ! John went to his friend`s house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, 'You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or...
  • The word`s importanace! CONSIDER THIS:

    You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
    With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off...
  • The safest bet! A pregnant woman and her husband asked the doctor if it was OK to have sex during her pregnancy.
    He told them that during the first trimester they could do it normal-style.
    During the second trimester they should do...
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