Change the oil !

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    It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"
    He answered " You`ve got to keep that old motor running."
    The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"
    He again said "You`ve got to keep the old motor running."
    The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said "You must be quite a man."
    He responded "You`ve got to keep that old motor running."
    The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil in that old motor, this one`s black."
  • Getting lucky ? Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so many nice chicks.
    Lenny says, 'I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up behind a girl and whisper, `Tickle your ass with a feather?`
  • The wrong button! Santa traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied.
    The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendants` ladies room but cautioned him not to press any of the...
  • Breast fed or bottle fed ! A woman and a baby came into the doctor`s office. She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor. He examines the baby and asks the woman, 'Is he breast...
  • Porky ! A little girl was leading her dog through the park when an old man stopped her, saying, 'That`s sure a pretty dress you`re wearing.'
    The little girl smiled, 'Thank you, Sir. My mama bought it for me. This is my dog Porky.'
    The old man chuckled, 'I`ll bet a nickel I can...
  • Watch your words ! Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.
    He says, 'How`d you get a cork in your ass?'
    The other guy says, 'I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp.There was a puff...
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