Mission accomplished!

  •  

    The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same, sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, do you remember this?"
    He looks up at her and replies, "Yes dear, I do, you wore that same negligee, the night we were married."
    "That`s right." she replied, "And do you remember what you said to me that night?"
    He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."
    "Well, what was it?"
    He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhh, Baby, I`m going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out!"
    She giggles and says, "Yes, that was it. That was exactly what you said. And now it`s 50 years later, I`m in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
    Again, he looks up at her and looks her up and down and says, "Mission Accomplished."
  • Change the oil ! It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
    He answered ' You`ve got to keep...
  • Some have toys! Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: 'Did you notice the small..
  • Getting lucky ? Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so many nice chicks.
    Lenny says, 'I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up behind a girl and whisper, `Tickle your ass with a feather?`
  • The wrong button! Santa traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied.
    The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendants` ladies room but cautioned him not to press any of the...
  • Breast fed or bottle fed ! A woman and a baby came into the doctor`s office. She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor. He examines the baby and asks the woman, 'Is he breast...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT