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    A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group.
    After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it while still there.
    She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".
    The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don`t say that in school."
    The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all f*#ked up?!"
  • This two timing thing ! A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother`s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to...
  • Complete the proverb ! A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child inher class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
    Their insight may surprise you.

    Better to be safe than....................Punch a kid bigger...
  • Wife`s contractions ! Santa spoke frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!'
    'Is this her first...
  • Mission accomplished! The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same, sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, 'Honey, do you remember this?'
    He looks up at her and replies, 'Yes dear, I do, you wore that same...
  • Birthday bash ! A 100-year-old man was having a big birthday party at the nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day.
    'Please tell our audience how you managed to live so...
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