For internet junkies

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    1. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 12 e-mail addresses.
    2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated.
    3. I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
    4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
    5. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
    6. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...okay, monthly then...or maybe... at least once a year.
    7. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I m not a clock watcher. I . will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical sicne my friends overseas already had time to answer me by then.
    8. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
    9. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
    10. I will think of a password other than "password."
    11. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
  • New Year`s Resolutions I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
  • Bush sues... SANTA AUSTIN, TX - Dec.20 - Attorneys for Texas
    Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
  • By Default! At an evening party the guests were asked to take part in a game in which everybody was to make a face and the one who made the worst face was to win the prize. It seemed as if all did their worst. Then the judge went up to our Banta who was sitting alone in a corner.
  • Foreigner! Foreigner! Santa returns from London. He calls his wife and asks her, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
    She says no.
  • Imagination! Several weeks after Banta had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager`s office.
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