Jane Meets Tarzan

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    One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and while questioning him about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.
    "What`s that" he asked.
    She explained to him what sex was and he said "Oh, I use hole in trunk of tree."
    Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly."
    She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
    "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
    Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
    "Tarzan not stupid - check for bees."
  • Monks Twelve Monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to their privates, and they were told that anyone who`s bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
  • Birthday Gift! Banta, 'I don`t know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I`m stumped.'
  • Milk.... A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display.The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled...
  • Nuns & St. Peter! There`s a queue of nuns waiting to go into heaven and St. Peter is at the front of the queue with a bowl of holy water. He says to the first nun; 'Have you ever had contact with a man`s penis?' The nun replies, 'Only with the tip of my finger.'
  • Nightmare A man goes into his son`s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
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