American Temples!

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    Ever thought, What would happen if temples were Americanised..... ..

    Before Pooja the pandit will not ask for your name anymore. Your social security number will do. ..
    Two types of prasad will be available - Normal Prasad & Diet Prasad. ..
    Panchamrut will be of 4 types : Normal milk, 2% milk, Skimmed milk and fat-free milk (The same for yogurt). ..
    You don`t tip the pandit on the plate, when he gives the prasad. You should swipe your visa card on his scanner. ..
    You no more go around the temple from left to right. This is America and everything here is from right to left. ..
    Due to fire hazard, no more aarati, only flashlights will be used. ..
    To prevent noise pollution, all bhaktas need to use head phones to listen GONG of the bell ..during flashlight-tee (aar-tee).
    Soft copies of lord are on sale at $1 per image. ..
    The pandit will no longer read the mantra from books, he will use his laptop instead. ..
    The temple would re-cycle the flowers used everyday to protect the Environment ..
    Sponsors of poojas will be allowed to display a 1.5`x 5` banner on the website. ..
    The temple will sponsor this year`s NBA matches to gain publicity
  • Breaking the fire! A fire started on some grassland near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer...
  • Changing Diapers!! After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing...
  • 911... Emily Sue passed away, and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
    'Where do you live?' asked the operator.
    Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus...
  • Double trouble! It was a fine summer evening at the local pub in Dublin. The bar was about half full. In one corner two fellows sat drinking pints. One fellow asks the other 'Now where are ya from, me lad?'
    The second fellow...
  • The Golf club! The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a fewtrees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods.Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hitinto a sand trap.
    All the while, he`d noticed that the club professional...
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