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    Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson`s house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won`t get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this."
    "Er, I wonder if you`d be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
    "Gee, I`m awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "as a matter of fact, I`ll be using it all day."
    "In that case," said the neighbor, "you won`t be using your golf clubs, do you mind if I borrow them?"
  • Hard of hearing! A man told his doctor, 'I don`t think my wife`s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?'
    The doctor replied, 'Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask...
  • Subtle hints! A man calls his mother in Florida. 'Mom, how are you?'
    'Not too good,' says the mother. 'I`ve been very weak.'
    The son says, 'Why are you so...
  • The nephew and the niece! A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side.
    He asked his brother how his wife was and his...
  • The parting words! Three buddies are sitting around talking one day when they begin to discuss what they would like their friends and families to say about them as they`re laying in their caskets at their funerals.
    The first man says, 'I would like to hear them say that...
  • The nuts! A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor...
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