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    A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."
    "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
    "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn`t even believe there`s a hell."
    Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we`ll show him how wrong he is."
  • The other half! Santa got a job in a supermarket, and one day a man came in and wanted to buy half a grapefruit.
    I don`t think we can sell half a grapefruit, said Santa, but I`ll ask my boss.
    He walked over to the...
  • Borrowing! Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson`s house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. 'He won`t get away with it this time,' muttered Robinson to his wife. 'Watch this.'
    'Er, I wonder if you`d be using your power-saw...
  • Orders! Doctor: 'I see you`re over a month late for your appointment. Don`t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What`s your excuse?'
    Patient:' I was just following...
  • Hard of hearing! A man told his doctor, 'I don`t think my wife`s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?'
    The doctor replied, 'Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask...
  • Subtle hints! A man calls his mother in Florida. 'Mom, how are you?'
    'Not too good,' says the mother. 'I`ve been very weak.'
    The son says, 'Why are you so...
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