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The effect of Americanisation on our rituals at temple...
Before Pooja the priest will not ask for your name anymore. Your social security number will do. Two types of prasad will be available - Normal Prasad, Diet Prasad. Also panchamrut will be of 4 types : Normal milk, 2% milk, Skimmed milk and fat-free milk (The same for yogurt). You don`t tip the priest on the plate, when he gives the prasad. You should swipe your visa card on his scanner. You no more go around the temple from left to right. This is America and everything here is from right to left. Due to fire hazard, no more aarati, only flashlights will be used. To prevent noise pollution, all bhaktas need to use headphones to listen the GONG of the bell during flashlight-tee (aar-tee). Softcopies of lord are on sale at $1 per image. The priest will no longer read the mantra from books, he will use his laptop instead. The temple would re-cycle the flowers used everyday - to protect the environment. Sponsors of all poojas will be allowed to display a 1.5"x5" banner on the website. The temple will sponsor this year`s NBA matches to gain publicity.
- Exhausted Santa ! Banta saw an exhausted Santa running up to him. 'What happened to you Santa?'
'There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today.'
'Oh really, what... - Confusing ??? Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three, I got married to a widow, Pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter With flowing hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. Now my daughter was my...
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Santa Got mail ! A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, our Santa, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later Santa... - Swimming pools !! There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle.
He said... - Died peacefully ! Santa and Banta were discussing how they would like to die. Santa said, 'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I dont want to die screaming like some of his friends, who...