Marriage and the Church !

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    Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church.
    The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
    The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
    The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
    The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest."
    "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest.
    The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
    The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad.
    The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it."
    "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest.
    The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
    "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
    "What happened?" inquired the priest.
    "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man.
    "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
    "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest.
    "We know," said the young man. "We`re not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either..."
  • Smart Dogs ! Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. 'T-Square, do your stuff.'
    T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some...
  • Nudist Colony ! A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander the grounds. A gorgeous, petite woman walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman noticeshis erection, comes over to him and...
  • Chinese Torture ! A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a long grey beard.
    'I`m lost,' said the man, 'Can you put me up for the night?'
    'Certainly,' the Chinese man said, 'but one condition. If you...
  • Three Hymns!! One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual and that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that...
  • Calling Home ! A blonde went into a world wide message centre (PCO) to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $30, she exclaimed: 'I don`t have any money. But I`d do...
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