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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don`t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I`ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
- The Cowboy An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him... - The River A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river'.
With even greater emphasis he said... - Confidential Fax !! Santa: 'Do you know anything about this fax-machine?'
Banta: 'A little. What`s wrong?'
Santa: 'Well, I sent a fax, and... - Santa got a job ! Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and...
- Loopholes ! A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.
She rushed in and said, 'What is it, honey?'
He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and...