Rectal thermometer !

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    Santa was is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in casts. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer (those placed within the rectum) and said, `Dont move I`ll be right back.`
    When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth.
    She asked in amazement, `How did you get that in your mouth, you can`t even move?`
    Santa said, `I hiccupped.`
  • Old couple A little old couple in their eighties was sitting on the couch watching the Playboy movie channel.
    He looked at her and asked, 'Do you think we can still do that?'
    'Well, we can sure try!' she answered.
    So they shuffled off to the bedroom and...
  • Who do I look like? A man came home from work one day and his wife asked him to fix the toilet. The man says, 'Who do I look like the plumber?' and never fixed it....
    The man comes home the next day and his wife asks him to fix the garbage disposal. The man says...
  • Savings ?? A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 80years old and the bride was just 25 years old. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him since his young bride was a healthy, vivacious and...
  • Embarrassed !! Preeto hires a maid with beautiful hair.
    The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, 'I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there.'
    That night, Preeto tells this to her husband...
  • Good night !! Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man doing a survey.
    He asks, 'Ladies, would you mind telling me how you know if you`ve had a good night out?'
    The first replies, 'I come home, get into bed and if I lay there and tingle all over, I know that I had a...
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