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A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day.
When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied "Why? It`s for lining it up at people so you can run them down".
"Ah I see", said Santa.
With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at Santa who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open:
"I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!".
- Feels like rubber... A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.
'Well,' said the drunk, 'it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.'
'Let me have it,' said the lawyer and... - Not finished yet ! A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, 'Excuse me Mister, but did you just... - Escaping Banta ! Banta came into the bar, with a big scowl on his face, and ordered a drink.
The bartender says, 'You look a mite angry. What`s wrong?'
Banta says, 'Well, I was in bed with this gal, and we heard her husband coming in, so I jumped out the window and held on to the window sill. He came over to the window and saw me, and... - Accident ! Santa and Banta driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
Before Santa could say anything, Banta said... - Santa in court A man was on trial for selling drugs, and his neighbour, Santa, was called as a witness.
The prosecutor asked: 'Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant?'
'No, sir,' answered Santa.
'Did you ever get any...