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A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot.
The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower
"Help! Help!"
The tower came back and asked, "What`s the problem?"
The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I`m blind... the pilot is dead, and we`re flying upside down!"
The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you`re upside down?"
"Because the shit is running down my back!"
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Kicks law ? Santa was hunting in Bhatinda recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a pigeon he had shot. A farmer came and asked Santa what he was doing on his property.
'Retrieving this pigeon that I just shot', he replied.
'That pigeon is on my side of the fence, so now its... - Mercedes A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day.
When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied 'Why? It`s for lining it up at people so you can... - Go to hell !! A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him 'What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?'
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, 'A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.'
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment... - Feels like rubber... A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.
'Well,' said the drunk, 'it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.'
'Let me have it,' said the lawyer and... - Not finished yet ! A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, 'Excuse me Mister, but did you just...