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Tommy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy ?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I`m sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda ?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia ?"
"I`ll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I`m sorry, but I`ll not name her."
"Was it Cathy ?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You`re a steadfast lad, Tommy , and I admire that. But you`ve sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What`d you get?"
"Five good leads," says Tommy.
- Punch me Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, 'Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?'
Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.
The guy under the tree says, 'Because I have... - Santa`s prescription Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant, Santa, and asks, 'What`s the matter with that guy? Wasn`t he... - Unfaithful Banta wanted to determine if both his wife, Preeto and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other`s behavior.
When his wife, Preeto, returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of... -
Santa`s expedition ! Santa, a big-game hunter, went on safari with his wife, Jeeto and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Jeeeto awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to Santa, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Santa picked up his rifle and... - Speeding An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, 'Ma`am did you know you were speeding?'
The woman turns to her husband and asked, 'What did he say?'
The old man yelled...