Terrible news !

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    A man got a call from his doctor who said "I have some bad news and some terrible news, which would you rather hear first?"
    The man says "The bad news."
    The doctor says "The lab messed up your tests and when they re-did them, they found out you only have 48 hours to live!"
    The man exclaimed "What could be more terrible than that!!??"
    The doctor replied "we tried all day yesterday to get hold of you but your phone was busy!"
  • Confession !! Tommy enters the confessional box and says, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
    The priest asks, 'Is that you, Tommy ?'
    'Yes, Father, it is.'
    'And who was the woman you were with?'
    'Sure and I...
  • Killed the pig ! Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a...
  • Punch me Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, 'Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?'
    Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.
    The guy under the tree says, 'Because I have...
  • Santa`s prescription Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
    The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant, Santa, and asks, 'What`s the matter with that guy? Wasn`t he...
  • Unfaithful Banta wanted to determine if both his wife, Preeto and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other`s behavior.
    When his wife, Preeto, returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of...
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