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The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand."
The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, `I see", `Yes, go on` and `I understand.` `How did you feel about that?`"
The new priest practices, saying these phrases.
The old priest says, "Now, don`t you think that`s a little better than slapping your knee and saying `No shit?!? What happened next?`"
- Do You See.... One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in the classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: Sonu do you see the tree outside?
Sonu: Yes.
Teacher: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
Sonu... - Hit it hard ! An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. So he picked out Santa to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
'Don`t ask me a lot of questions,' he told Santa.'Just do whatever I tell you to do.'
One day the old blacksmith took an... -
Santa`s wish Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie.
It says, “I will give you three wishes.”
Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says... - Great Bar ! An Irishman, an Italian, and Banta are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there`s a better one. At MacDougal`s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will... - Terrible news ! A man got a call from his doctor who said 'I have some bad news and some terrible news, which would you rather hear first?'
The man says 'The bad news.'
The doctor says 'The lab messed up your tests and when they re-did them, they found out you only have...