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A young woman with a baby was shown into the examining room. Dr. Santa examined the baby and then asked the woman, "Is he breast fed or bottle fed?"
"Breast fed," replied the woman.
"Strip down to your waist," Dr. Santa ordered.
The woman did as she was told and Santa examined her breasts. He squeezed and pulled each one for a while and then he sucked hard on each nipple.
Finally he remarked, "No wonder this child is suffering from malnutrition. You don`t have any milk!"
"That`s right," said the woman. "This is my sister`s child."
"Well," said the startled Santa. "I had no idea. You shouldn`t have come."
"I didn`t," replied the woman, "until you started sucking on my second breast."
- Heaven or Hell? This woman dies and goes to heaven. While waiting in line, she hears this terrible screaming and moaning. This disturbs her somewhat, so she tracks down St. Peter to find out what is going on.
'Oh, that,' he says, 'that`s just the woman in front of you. They are drilling holes in her back to attach her wings.'
The woman is still a bit upset by this and is... - Blow job !! A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, 'You know that... - Gas Grill Banta and Preeto had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together.
As Preeto was bending over pulling weeds, Banta said, 'Hey honey, you`re getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it`s as big as the gas grill now.'
Banta, feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yard stick... - Confusion ! Banta walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said 'Win this...free beer for LIFE!'
Banta walked up to the bartender and asked 'How do I win this golden mug?'
The bartender replied, 'See that drunken man over there? Knock him out in one punch. See that lion? He has a toothache but... -
One hole behind !! Santa was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said 'Can you please help me. I don`t know what hole I`m on.'
She told him 'You are one hole behind me. I`m on 7; you`re on 6.'
Santa thanked her and continued playing golf. On the back nine, he got...