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    A couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"
    "Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?"
    She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
    They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to kiss me?"
    "Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?"
    She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
    As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl looked at the boy and asked, "Would you like to go all the way with me?"
    "Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By the gleam in my eye?" he asked.
    "No," replied the girl, "By the tilt in your kilt."
  • Only twice!! Banta went to the restaurant where the Lion`s Club meets every week, sat down and prepared to have a nice lunch and listen to today`s speaker.
    All of a sudden, the host of the lunch came up to him and said 'Banta, you have to make a speech today.'
    Banta says, 'Are you nuts? Where is the scheduled speaker?'
    The host replies, 'He backed out at the last minute and now...
  • Bigger hole! It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
    The elephant complained, 'Lord, I hate this trun you have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!'
    The Lord said, 'Don`t complain. It lets you pick up...
  • Realistic !! This guy is really into blow up dolls and rings his mail order supplier and says he wants something absolutely realistic.
    The supplier says, 'I have just the thing, `Life-like Tina`, So realistic you can`t tell the difference!'
    The guy orders one. Meanwhile the supplier is looking at the box and cannot believe how realistic `Life-like Tina` looks, so he...
  • Coal miners An exquisite painting entitled 'Home for Lunch' was on display in a art gallery. It depicted three very naked, very black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.
    Two women were staring at the painting, trying to...
  • Change the oil It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth.
    The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, 'this is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
    He answered, ' You`ve got to keep that old motor running.'
    The following year...
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