•  

    A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink.
    He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As the evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on.
    Four days later, the old man noticed that he was developing a drip, and he headed for the rest home doctor. After careful examination the doctor asked the old man if he had engaged in sex recently.
    The old man said, "Sure!"
    The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman was and where she lived.
    "Sure, why?"
    "Well you`d better get over there, you are about to cum!"
  • It hurts One night a wino was wandering the streets looking for a place to sleep for the night. He was so tired that he ended up crashing in the parking lot of a gay club.
    That night two drunk patrons are walking to their car and see the wino crashed out by the back dumpster. They walk over to him, flip him over and
  • Only twice!! Banta went to the restaurant where the Lion`s Club meets every week, sat down and prepared to have a nice lunch and listen to today`s speaker.
    All of a sudden, the host of the lunch came up to him and said 'Banta, you have to make a speech today.'
    Banta says, 'Are you nuts? Where is the scheduled speaker?'
    The host replies, 'He backed out at the last minute and now...
  • Bigger hole! It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
    The elephant complained, 'Lord, I hate this trun you have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!'
    The Lord said, 'Don`t complain. It lets you pick up...
  • Realistic !! This guy is really into blow up dolls and rings his mail order supplier and says he wants something absolutely realistic.
    The supplier says, 'I have just the thing, `Life-like Tina`, So realistic you can`t tell the difference!'
    The guy orders one. Meanwhile the supplier is looking at the box and cannot believe how realistic `Life-like Tina` looks, so he...
  • Coal miners An exquisite painting entitled 'Home for Lunch' was on display in a art gallery. It depicted three very naked, very black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.
    Two women were staring at the painting, trying to...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT