Without brakes

  •  

    A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
    Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the truck. He looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, "What`s the matter with you two? Didn`t you hear me blowing the horn? You could have been killed!"
    Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied and not too concerned and said, "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes........."
  • Aging A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink.
    He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As the evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they
  • Tilt in kilt A couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, 'Would you like to hold my hand?'
    'Uh...well yes.' the boy said, 'But how did you know?'
    She said, 'By the gleam in your eye.'
    They walked a little further and the girl said...
  • It hurts One night a wino was wandering the streets looking for a place to sleep for the night. He was so tired that he ended up crashing in the parking lot of a gay club.
    That night two drunk patrons are walking to their car and see the wino crashed out by the back dumpster. They walk over to him, flip him over and
  • Only twice!! Banta went to the restaurant where the Lion`s Club meets every week, sat down and prepared to have a nice lunch and listen to today`s speaker.
    All of a sudden, the host of the lunch came up to him and said 'Banta, you have to make a speech today.'
    Banta says, 'Are you nuts? Where is the scheduled speaker?'
    The host replies, 'He backed out at the last minute and now...
  • Bigger hole! It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
    The elephant complained, 'Lord, I hate this trun you have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!'
    The Lord said, 'Don`t complain. It lets you pick up...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT