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This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn`t wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I`ll be right back..."
"Where are you going coochy cooh...?", asked the wife.
"I`m going to the bar, pretty face. I`m going to have a beer."
The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband doesn`t know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you know... the frozen glass...". He didn`t get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face"? She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d`oeuvres that are really delicious...I won`t be long. I`ll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d`oeuvres poochi pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d`oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..."
The wife looks at him and said: "You want some dirty words cutie pie? SIT THE FUCK DOWN - DRINK YOUR FUCKIN` BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN` MUG - EAT YOUR FUCKIN` SNACKS - YOU AREN`T GOING TO THE FUCKIN` BAR !!! GOT IT, ASSHOLE ?!?!"
- Shrinkage! Banta is in the dark jungles of Africa, going where no man has gone before. Accompanying him was his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter in one.
One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man engaged in 'playful activities' with 8-9 beautiful, dark, young women, all in the... - Turn on! There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, and our Santa sitting in a bar having a few drinks together.
The Englishman says to the Frenchman, 'So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?'
'Well,' says the Frenchman, 'After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and put them all over her... - Great pleasure ! An Englishman, a Pakistani, and our Banta are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of all starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Pakistani and Banta ask him what was he up to.
'Well,' he explained, 'by rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and... - Financial crunch Santa and his wife, Jeeto were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that Jeeto should try prostitution as an extra source of income.
Santa drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems.
A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked Jeeto how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and - Whale revenge A family of whales was swimming around on a nice day. Suddenly a boat with harpooners came and killed the baby whale.
A few years went by and the same boat came around again. When the father whale saw it, he said that they should pay those bastards back for killing their son.
He turned to the wife and said, 'Lets go under the boat and blow...