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An air force officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven.
The officer replies, "Yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down."
St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act.
The pilot replied, "About 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!"
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Millionaires ! After days in the wilderness Santa and Banta stumble into a bar in the wild north in J&K and ask for two beers.Unfortunately they`ve got no money and the barman won`t give them credit. Just then a Kashmiri walks in with a terrorist`s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says... - Banta`s wish Banta walks into a restaurant with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order.
Banta says, 'I`ll have a burger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich.
'What`s yours?'
'I`ll have the same' says the ostrich.
A short time later, the waitress returns with the order.
'That will be... - Mine disaster There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
'Hey bartender' said the Engineer, 'I`ll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there... -
A Deadly Sneeze? Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.
'Who was that!?' shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.
'I see,' he said, 'I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who... - Old Preacher An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the...