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A minister would up the services one morning by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, "Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands."
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Then said the preacher, "You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."
- Bank robbery After two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, 'Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?'
'Yes we have, your honor,' the foreman responded.
'Would you please... - Dying of AIDS!! An Irishman named Darren went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Darren in the eye, and said, 'I`ve some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can`t be cured. I`d give you two weeks to a month to live.'
Darren was shocked and saddened by the news but was of solid character. He managed to compose himself and... -
Air India Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, 'I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t... - Basic training Santa was in Telecom deptt. before joining the army. As part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill Instructor was very upset with him.
'What`s the matter with you?' asked the Drill Instructor. 'Why can`t you... - No lawyers please A Lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.'Hello mate,' says St. Peter, 'I`m sorry, no Lawyers in heaven.'
'What?' exclaims the man, astonished.
'You heard, no Lawyers.'
'But, but, but, I`ve been...