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Three guys were driving down a country road when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near Banta`s farm. They went to him, and asked if they could spend the night there, while the tow truck came.
Banta said, "Fine, but I better not catch any of you fooling around with my beautiful wife."
To insure this Banta secretly shoved a razor blade up his wife, Preeto`s p**sy.
At night, the first guy sneaked out of his bed and screwed Preeto.
Then the second guy sneaked out and screwed her. And then, so did the third.
The next day when the three guys were going to leave, Banta told them to pull down there pants. They all did.
The farmer looked down at the first guy and saw his dick chopped up and said, "You screwed wife, you bastard."
Then he looked down at the second guy, saw his dick chopped up, and said, "You screwed my daughter, you bastard."
Then he saw that the third guy`s dick was fine and said, "You can come and stay here whenever you`d like."
The third guy replied, "Tank oou very mut."
- Chewing gum!! A 300 Kg man walks into a doctor`s office. This doctor is known for his unusual but effective methods. The man says, 'Doctor you must help me. I have tried everything. I just cannot lose this weight.'
The doctor hesitates for a minute. He finally looks up and says, 'The only thing I can do is to sew your mouth shut and... - Going on Date! A guy was at the local dance and he asks a girl to dance.
'OK,' she replies.
'What`s your name?' he asks.
'Franny,' she replies.
'That`s a nice name, Fanny,' he says.
'NO, NO, NO, it`s Franny, Fanny with an R.'
'OK, sorry,' he replies and they... - The Only Pleasure! A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, 'But, sir, I can see from up here you`re at least a size 11.'
The guy says, 'Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.'
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain.
The salesman just has to ask... - Fruitful trial! Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, 'I brought ten apples.'
The king then explained the trial to him... - Too tired!! Alicia was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman`s work.
But one evening Alicia arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and...