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    There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.
    He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.
    A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.
    Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."
    The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"
    The first little old lady replied, "Look at that.
    When I was 20, I was curious about it.
    When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
    When I was 40, I asked for it.
    When I was 50, I paid for it.
    When I was 60, I prayed for it.
    When I was 70, I forgot about it.
    Now that I`m 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I`m too old to squat."
  • Religious!!! A young man walks into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms.
    The cashier says 'Got a good one?'
    'Yup, hot date tonight! This ones pretty much in the bag… she`s sexy and givin` it up tonight!' the man replies.
    A little while later the man goes to his girlfriends house and they...
  • Banta`s Headache Banta has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he`s referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies.
    'I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and....
  • Nice Advice One day, farmer Bob was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
    Now he had a problem...
  • Trot !!! This guy owns a horse farm and gets a call from a friend.
    'I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse and I`m sending him over'.
    The midget arrives and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female...
  • Drunken Dad Three Irishmen are enjoying a round of stout in the local pub when suddenly a drunk stumbles in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle...
    The drunk shouts, 'Your mom`s the best damn lay in town!'
    Everyone in the pub expects a fight, but the young strong man just ignores him.
    The drunk mumbles as he...
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