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A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. There was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years even that stopped.
He was always preparing for the day when he would be saved. One morning he saw a ship turn into the cove and he quickly ran to the woodpile and started it afire. He then threw wet seaweed on top and the smoke was bellowing high in the air. All of a sudden the ship starts to come his way.
He gets all excited and thinks I am finally going to be saved. The first thing I want is to take a hot shower - then they are going to give me some clothes and I am going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She will start to take off her clothes and she will be wearing red satin panties, and I will rub them.
With this, he starts to get an erection; he slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker and yells, "Ha, Ha, Ha - I LIED ABOUT THE SHIP."
- what`s in a name! A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.
The first boy arrived and said: 'Hi, I`m Eddie, I`m here for Betty, we`re going steady, is she... - Violent erection! A guy has a crush on a girl at his work. He is dying to ask her out on a date, but every time he sees her, he gets the biggest erection ever. There is nothing he can do to control it.
After some time, he decides to get her phone number and call her up. This way, he won`t have to see her and won`t get too excited. He ends up... - Misinterpretation!!! A couple attending an Art exhibition was looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.
As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist, walks by and says... - No Ride!!! A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up.
The driver asked, 'Hey, little lady, need a lift?'
'Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station.'
The driver replied, 'OK, but first you have to... - Johnnie`s date Little Johnnie was very lustful for a girl living in his neighborhood. He invited her to dinner, and she accepted. After dinner, he drove to a little mountain about 5 miles away from the city, and told her: 'I want you right here and now. Do it or get out and go home!' Without saying a word, she got out and walked home.
A few weeks later, after a lot of...