-
Three girls died and were brought to the Gates of Heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter told the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."
"Which is ...?", they replied in unison.
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the first girl.
"Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married, and was still virgin even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl.
"Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married, but was not after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl.
"Oh no, not at all", she said. "I practically had sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... my room key."
- Temptations!!! A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. There was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years even that stopped.
He was always preparing for the day when he would be saved. One morning he saw a ship turn into the cove and he quickly ran to the woodpile and started it afire. He then... - Got a spare one?? The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them. He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.
As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, Little Johnnie... - what`s in a name! A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.
The first boy arrived and said: 'Hi, I`m Eddie, I`m here for Betty, we`re going steady, is she... - Violent erection! A guy has a crush on a girl at his work. He is dying to ask her out on a date, but every time he sees her, he gets the biggest erection ever. There is nothing he can do to control it.
After some time, he decides to get her phone number and call her up. This way, he won`t have to see her and won`t get too excited. He ends up... - Misinterpretation!!! A couple attending an Art exhibition was looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.
As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist, walks by and says...