-
Once upon a time, a gay man with a tremendous sex-drive died and went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in.
"Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Peter`s keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. The gay man just couldn`t resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.
Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, You`ll go straight to hell! But follow me, we`re just there."
After walking some more, Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Peter droped his keys and then bent over to pick them up. The guy, having no self control, jumped on him.
Peter by now was fed up and sent the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Peter went down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something was wrong, it was freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he found the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off.
"Why is it so goddamn cold down here?" Peter asked.
"Well you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied.
- Have you been a good girl? Three girls died and were brought to the Gates of Heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
St. Peter told the girls, 'Before entering you must answer this simple question.'
'Which is ...?', they replied in unison.
'Have you been a... -
Osama in Hell Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
'I don`t know what to do here,' the devil says. 'You`re on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I`ll tell you what I`m going to do: I`ve got a couple of... - Temptations!!! A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. There was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years even that stopped.
He was always preparing for the day when he would be saved. One morning he saw a ship turn into the cove and he quickly ran to the woodpile and started it afire. He then... - Got a spare one?? The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them. He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.
As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, Little Johnnie... - what`s in a name! A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.
The first boy arrived and said: 'Hi, I`m Eddie, I`m here for Betty, we`re going steady, is she...