-
A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom.
The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, he could sell the private a new one.
The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in two hours with an answer."
Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and says, "The regiment has voted to replace."
-
Exhaustion!!! The newlyweds, Santa and Jeeto, were suffering from exhaustion.
After an examination, their doctor advised, 'It's not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is... - Rusty old thing! This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, 'Where are you going ?'
He said, 'I'm going to the doctor.'
And she said, 'Why? Are you sick?'
'No,' he said. 'I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra... - Natural hair! 'Miss Veronica, we can't employ you as a model,' the editor from the men's magazine explained.
'Why?'
'It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs.. - Garment model! Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together.Frist executive says, 'Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life.'
'What happened?' asks second executive.
First one moans, 'My wife and I... - Kill me! Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever.
Then, one of them got an idea, saying 'I know, let's play swords!'
'Play swords?' asked the other.
'How?'
'Simple. Whip it out, smack it till it's hard, and...