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A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister.
The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."
The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.
Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
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A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, 'Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses.'
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Dead horses! The Major went out to find that none of his soldiers were there. One finally ran up, sweating heavily.
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When he was served, he quietly bowed his head and gave the Lord thanks for his food.
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