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This foursome has teed off every Saturday morning for the past three years. Santa was most remarkable among them. He would play left-handed for a couple of weeks, and the next week he would play right-handed with equal skill. His one annoying fault was that every couple of months or so he would be twenty minutes late to tee off.
One morning, after Santa had landed his second shot just two feet from the pin, one of the others said, "I can't stand it any longer! What's with switching sides, right to left? Why do you do that?"
"Well, I tell you. Every Saturday morning when I wake up, I turn over and look at my wife in the bed next to me. If she's sleeping on her right side, then I tee off right- handed. If she's on her left side, then I play left-handed."
"Aha! But what if she's on her back?", he asked.
Santa, "That's when I'm twenty minutes late!"
- Mouth-to-Mouth! Santa and Banta are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself.
They stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway... -
Wrong finger!!! 'Are You Paying Attention?'
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
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One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss.
I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to her you no understand, I wanna two piss on my... - Thirty erections! A man is having problems with his penis, which certainly had seen better times.
He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, 'Sorry, but you've overdone it the last thirty years. Your penis is burned out. You only have... - Speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.
He went up to the shop assistant and asked 'Could I have a fucket please?'
The assistant asked, 'Pardon sir?'
'Can I have a fucket please?' Replied the man.
'Oh you mean...