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A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other.
"So what's going on here?" he asks.
The bikie replies, "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit."
The cop says, "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!"
The bikie replies, "That's what I'm going to do next!"
- Smart monkey! One day a lion was walking around the jungle sad and lonely, when he spotted a monkey up in a tree.
He yelled up to the monkey to come down and play, but the monkey was too scared.So the lion asked the monkey what he could do to make him feel... - Mouth-to-Mouth! Santa and Banta are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself.
They stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway... -
Wrong finger!!! 'Are You Paying Attention?'
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
'You must be capable of two things to do a... - Italian vacation You must use an Italian accent for this joke to work:
One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss.
I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to her you no understand, I wanna two piss on my... - Thirty erections! A man is having problems with his penis, which certainly had seen better times.
He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, 'Sorry, but you've overdone it the last thirty years. Your penis is burned out. You only have...