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The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available.
He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library.
The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself and muttering, "An 'R'! The scribes left out the 'R'."
A particularly concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean.
After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'.
They left out the 'R'. The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"
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Wrong finger!!! 'Are You Paying Attention?'
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
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One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss.
I tella her I wanta two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say to her you no understand, I wanna two piss on my...