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    A hillbilly gets married and on his wedding night he calls his father to get some tips on what to do, since he had never been with a woman before.
    So he calls up his dad and asks him, "What do I do first?"
    His dad says, "Take her clothes off and put her in bed. "
    The hillbilly calls his dad 5 minutes later and says, "She's naked and in bed what do I do now?" His dad says, "Take your clothes off and get in bed."
    He calls back 5 minutes later and says, "I'm naked and in bed with her what do I do now?"
    His dad's patience is now running out so he says, "Look son do I have to spell everything out? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees!"
    The hillbilly calls up 5 mins later and says, "OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"
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    The doctor said, 'Ma'am, have you ever...
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    Santa says, 'Sure.'
    'OK. Face away from me and get down on your hands and knees.'
    Santa turns around and...
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    After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, 'There must be something you're doing that you haven't...
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