•  

    A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
    "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a Safe Driver Award. Congratulations, what do you think you're going to do with the prize money?"
    He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
    The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him, he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
    The guy from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
    At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
  • The first timer... A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
    A nurse stopped him, and asked...
  • Watch dogs A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
    The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex...
  • Buying E-beg.com A poor, downtrodden beggar stands on the street, not having much luck. Exasperated and hungry he decides to make a sign, and hastily scrawls the word 'Beg' on a piece of cardboard.
    Hardly anyone pays him and his new sign...
  • Smartest Man! A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
    In spite of the best efforts of the pilot...
  • Speed limit A traffic Policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
    She said, 'I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT