•  

    Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
    The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
    The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
    The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
    The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
    But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
  • The Defendant 'So let me get this straight,' the prosecutor says to the defendant. 'You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man.'
    'That's correct,' replies...
  • Confessional At one local church, Jack was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he...
  • Loyalty oath An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.
    But until now, she'd never even been...
  • Smart compliment At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
    As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said...
  • Memories One Sunday morning, the minister told the congregation that he was going to say a series of words, and he wanted them to sing the song that came to mind, when he said each word.
    The first word he said was...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT