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Two lesbians were walking down the street one-day.
They soon spotted a beautiful woman on the other side of the road. "Ooh, look at that beautiful woman, I'd like to give her one" said the first.
"Unh, Unh" mumbled the other.
It continued like that; anytime they passed a gorgeous woman and the first one would wax lyrical about her, the other would just mumble, "Unh, Unh Uhh...".
When they got to the bar, the first lesbian turned to the other, "Hey, what's with all the mumbling back there when we came across all those beautiful women?"
"I'm sorry ...," said the second lesbian "... my tongue got hard!!!"
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Heavy Drinker A guy goes up to a woman in a bar and says, "I'm gonna make your nipples hard."
She says, "Oh, yeah? My husband will kick your ass."
He says, "And then I'm gonna turn you upside-down... -
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Sales girl, "Can I help you, Sir?"
Banta, "Yes, I want to buy some condoms...