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It's Christmas time and Bill and Joe decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Joe brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Bill to look at it.
"Well, Bill, What do you think?"
"Sorry, Joe, this tree won't do. Let's try another one."
They come upon another nice tree, Joe brushes it off, and they both look at it.
"How about this one, Bill?"
"Not quite, Joe. Let's keep looking". This goes on until nightfall. Both Bill and Joe are cold, tired, and hungry. "Well, Bill, what do we do now?"
"Joe, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not..."
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Mock Earthquake A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "Guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded... -
Mouse Holes Then there was the guy who loved nothing better than to sit at nearby bar for long evenings and get stoned with his cronies. But his wife was a social climber, and was prone to having... -
Sharing a Bed Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
"You mean a room with two... -
Cross-Eyed Bull Banta has a cross-eyed bull that keeps bumping into things. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and... -
Birthday Gift Two guys were talking at work. "I've got a problem," said the first one.
"What is it?"
"My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to...