Defence Attorney: What is your age?
Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch, on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes walking up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my husband passed away some 30 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Old Woman: Why, Your Honour, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so excited that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!
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