| A four year old little boy was at the doctor's office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he replied, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." At this point the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks forward to what he has to say next... And, much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asks,"Then why did you eat him." |
| A class had been studying destruction of the rain forest and was talking about ways they could help protect the planet. One boy was particularly proud of his contribution. He announced, "I got at least seven kids to stop using paper towels in the bathroom at school!" The teacher congratulated him, and asked how he had accomplished such a feat. "Simple! I just taught them all to wipe their hands on their shirts like I do!" |
| Tim is having a bit of trouble seeing things at a distance so he goes into an opticians for an eye test. The optician asks him to cover his right eye with his left hand and read the letters on the card. Now Tim has always had difficulty telling right from left so the optician says not to worry and to cover his left eye with his left hand and then read the letters on the card but still Tim has problems. The optician, being a helpful chap, has a brilliant idea and taking a cardboard box, cuts out two small square holes and puts it over Tim's head with the words, "There, now cover up one of the holes and read the letters on the card through the other hole." Tim however bursts into tears and the optician becomes very concerned, takes the box off his head and asks why he's crying. Tim replies, "I wanted a metal frame like me brother's got." |
| Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders, the Founder of KFC" Guess where the f*** I am now.. |