A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don`t want any trouble either. What do you say...
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them...
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday...
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he`d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened...
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy...
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean...
John goes to the deli for some soup. After he`s seated and about to eat he calls the waiter over. When the waiter comes he says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "Why what`s wrong with the soup...
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid...
Issac Newton`s mother - "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"
Archimedes`s mother - "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka...