Clean Jokes


A Kick Under the Table

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table...

Chicken Gun

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent...

God Will Provide

A nice girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiance to his study for a chat...

The Fastest Thing

Four men applied for the same job and were equally qualified so the interviewer decided to ask them one extra question to display their creativity: "What is the fastest thing...

Backlog of Prayers

God is happy! He has cleared all the backlog of prayers of his devotee`s.
1. Kids: I wish we had no school and play all day. - Done
2. Women: I want the undivided attention of my husband..

Health Is Wealth

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris` Last Will and Testament. To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and...

Surviving Canadian Winters

The Collins family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. For generations, their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between Canada and the United States..

A Horrible Way to Die

Two guys in a bar... One says, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!"
"Wooo, what the hell happened to him?"
Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and...

RULES OF THE AIR

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling...

Drunk Driving?

I think, I`m going to lose my drivers license... and all just because of a stupid police officer. The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car- Officer: License and registration, please...