Clean Jokes


The Wrong Train

Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Rail Road. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider. One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated...

Rich Puns

Q: How do you tickle a Rich Girl?
A: Gucci... Gucci... Gucci...
Q: How does a Rich Girl Curse?
A: Oh Teri Fendi...

Buttock Tattoo Terror

A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time...

Fix It Yourself

A man`s printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop. A friendly young man informed him, "Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that...

Men Will Never Learn

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man`s car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars...

Women Can't Keep Secrets

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
"No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don`t know about that...

The Picture Diet

I remember one time when I was home visiting my folks. My mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender...

Show Business

A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather...

Common Sense is Dead

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic...

Superfast Turtle

A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle`s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape....