| A man drove past a traffic camera and saw it flash. He couldn't believe he had been caught speeding when he was driving below the speed limit for once! He turned around and drove past again, this time even slower. But as he passed the camera, it flashed again. He was angry! He turned around again and this time drove past at a snail's pace. But again, the camera flashed. "Oh, well," he thought. "It must be broken." and drove home. A week later, he received three tickets in the mail for not wearing his seatbelt! |
| Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson. Sarah, an outspoken older woman, comes in to interview for the position. Becky looks at Sarah's resume and notices that Sarah has never worked in jewelry before. "If you don't mind my saying so, for someone who has never worked in jewelry you certainly are asking a pretty high salary. That's chutzpah, wouldn't you say?!?" asks Becky. Sarah thinks for a moment. "Well, I suppose I am," replies Sarah, "but you must understand, the work is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing." |
| Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar. To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill." |
| FAQs on single-source double-mutant triple-helix Corona variant in India.... Q. Why curfew from 8pm to 7am? A. Due to rising temperatures with the onset of summer, Corona likes to step out when it gets cool. Hence the curfew. Q. Is it safe to attend Kumbh Mela? A. Yes. Corona is afraid of religion and does not attack the lakhs who gather to pray to God. Q. Is it safe to attend political rallies? A. Absolutely. Corona is terrified of politicians, especially the ones who occupy the highest posts. Q. Why are only 20 people or less allowed at cremations? A. Cremations generate lot of heat, which weakens the virus. It tries to escape by jumping from one person to the other. Research has shown that a critical mass of 21 or more people ensures survival of the virus. Hence the restriction of 20. Q. Why are only 50 people or less allowed at weddings? A. Indian weddings generate lot of sound & light, which scares the virus (as proved by the PM last year). The virus requires a critical mass of 51 or more people to survive. Q. Why does Corona not attack crowded buses? A. The virus has mutated and acquired human qualities. It hates road traffic and avoids buses due to the longer commute. Hence crowded buses are safe. Q. Are local trains dangerous? A. Yes. Corona prefers trains due to the quick commute. Also, the virus enjoys the breeze when standing on the footboard. Q. Does online shopping prevent Corona? A. Yes. Corona is not able to jump on to fast moving motorcycles and hence does not reach your home. Q. Why does Corona not attack slum dwellers & infects only high society residents? A. Corona has collaborated with hospitals and labs and targets only highly remunerative markets. Q. Does lockdown help? A. Indeed it does. Corona hangs around outside the door, waiting for people to step out to pick the newspaper, get the milk, go outside etc. Hence lockdown protects you by ensuring you stay inside your home. Note that Corona never enters your home from under the door, it has a high ego it stays outside till you go out and invite it in. Q. Can I see Covid? A. Covid is like Maya. It is everywhere & it is nowhere. Stay home. Stay safe. Stay mad. |