A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn`t quit it.
The next morning...
A family of whales was swimming around on a nice day. Suddenly a boat with harpooners came and killed the baby whale.
A few years went by and the same boat came around again. When the father whale saw it, he said that they should pay those bastards back for killing their son.
He turned to the wife and said, 'Lets go under the boat and blow...
Once there was this city boy who wanted to go country, so he headed out to a farm to buy some animals.
'I`ll take one of these,' he said to the farmer.
'What is it?'
Well, to me it`s a cock, but to you it`s a rooster,' said the farmer.
'I`ll take one of these, too,' said the city boy.
'What is...
A little girl asks her mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mom says, 'No, because the dog is in heat.'
'What`s that mean?' asks the child. 'Go ask your father. I think he`s in the garage.'
The little girl goes to the garage and says...
A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.
The bartender looked up and said, 'You ain`t from around here, are you? Where are you from, boy?'
The guy said...
An old guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, 'Well, my pet chicken, of course!'
'I`m sorry,' The girl tells him. 'We can`t allow animals in the theater.'
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and...
It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
The elephant complained, 'Lord, I hate this trun you have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!'
The Lord said, 'Don`t complain. It lets you pick up...
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
'Ma`am, I`m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.'
'Oh, I`ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as...
An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by.
So the elephant says, 'Help me, help me.'
But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with...
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. 'T-Square, do your stuff.'
T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some...