A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.
The vet examines the bird extensively, says...
One day a lion was walking around the jungle sad and lonely, when he spotted a monkey up in a tree.
He yelled up to the monkey to come down and play, but the monkey was too scared.So the lion asked the monkey what he could do to make him feel...
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam.
It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited.
'Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?' asked George.
'George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll...
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster, one that could service all of his many hens. He told this to the market vendor.
The vendor replied...
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender.
The bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't...
A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
'That fellow from close by will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the mares. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate.'
Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer...
A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up.
The driver asked, 'Hey, little lady, need a lift?'
'Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station.'
The driver replied, 'OK, but first you have to...
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and...
A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar.
The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink.
Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink.
After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were...
So this lady elephant is walking along the forest, when she gets a sliver in her foot. It`s really quite painful, so when she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him to pull the sliver out.
The rabbit says, 'Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you have to promise to...